By request, and significantly earlier than necessary, I post this song, which I performed in a madrigal ensemble in high school. Multiple choruses of "My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me" have been omitted. I had to return the sheet music to my choral director, and cannot find the proper credits. For shame, for shame, but I can't resist posting it just the same.
The Twelve Days After Christmas
The first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight,
and so I chopped the pear tree down, and burned it just for spite.
The second day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves,
and very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves.
The third day after Christmas, my mother caught the croup.
I had to use the three French hens to make some chicken soup.
The four calling birds were a big mistake, for their language was obscene;
the five golden rings were completely fake and they turned my fingers green.
The sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn't lay;
I shipped the whole darned gaggle to the ASPCA.
On the seventh day, what a mess I found:
all seven of the swimming swans had drowned!
The eighth day after Christmas, before they could suspect,
I bundled up the eight maids a milking, nine pipers piping,
ten ladies dancing, eleven lords a-leaping, twelve drummers drumming
(well, actually I kept one of the drummers...),
and sent them back collect.
I wrote my true love, we are through, love,
and I said in so many words,
"Furthermore, your Christmas gifts are for the
four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves,
and a partridge in a pear tree."