I have been getting a ton of requests to do weddings since I moved to this new gig. Some of them come from people who attended a wedding I've performed; that's pretty flattering. Some of them come because I work in a large and beautiful church, and people like the idea of having their ceremony in such a place. These weddings get divided up between the three ministers on staff here, depending on our willingness and availability.
Then there are the other requests - the ones that come from the list at city hall. I have no idea how my name even got onto that list. Clearly someone knew about me within a couple of weeks of my start date. I get at least one call a week from someone who doesn't know me from Eve (or Adam...often, they're expecting a man to answer the phone), and probably doesn't know (or care) what church I work for. They often give extremely short notice; yesterday someone asked if I'd have time to do a wedding tomorrow. Usually this cuts out the possibility from my end right away. My fee is the same for these weddings as it is if you get married in the church and want in-person consultations and a rehearsal beforehand. That usually puts the kibosh on it from their end.
But sometimes it doesn't.
And then I wonder about these 'random' weddings. I wonder about what they're thinking, why they want a minister instead of a JP when they don't seem to have a relationship with a church or minister otherwise, what it is that they think a minister will bring to their wedding. I wonder whether I should participate in these weddings at all. Before I was ordained, I did not envision performing weddings for strangers who were utterly unconnected to the church. But I also think it's a mistake to turn down opportunities for the church to be part of people's sacred moments, as it may be one of the only times they ever feel a need for it. It's an odd predicament.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Not so cranky, but still in the mood to share random information
There must be an entire dog living in my computer. That is the only reasonable explanation I can think of for the insane amount of hair that came out of my keyboard when I decided to clean it today. I'm surprised I have been able to continue typing on this thing.
Last night I went home at 10:00pm, fell into bed, was asleep by 10:30, and slept like the dead until 9:00am. I am not a big sleeper; I usually feel quite happy with 5-6 hours most nights and then one morning a week when I can just sleep in and get a full 8 hours. It is extremely rare for me to go to bed before midnight, and then I'm usually reading my insomnia into submission for an hour or two. The fact that I slept more than ten hours last night makes me a little concerned, because the only time I sleep like that is when I'm getting sick. But I feel pretty good today, so maybe I just needed the rest.
I am researching potential mission trip locations for the youth group. I would really like to go on one of these pre-planned trips on which I would just have to make sure we all get there, and then could step back and let someone else organize and lead the details. However, I seem to be having some difficulty finding such trips that are not run by people on the opposite end of the theological spectrum from myself and my church. We wish to go somewhere and serve some people in the name of Christ. We do not wish to do door-to-door evangelism. Personally, I do not wish to subject my youth group to fundagelical craziness, not least because I have no desire to spend the next several months answering questions like, "What is this rapture business they kept talking about?" Where are the mission trips for progressive churches? I suspect I am going to have to do all the organizing myself. Which is fine, but a tidge daunting.
It seems that I have fallen into an entire world of Celtic music. A year ago, I had never been to a Celtic festival or heard more than a snippet of any sort of Celtic rock music. However, an absurd amount of my free time in the last year been eaten by concerts, festivals, and trips to Scotland and Ireland. I'm certainly not complaining. I've been having a blast. But it's a little weird. The closest thing to Scottish or Irish blood I have is whatever we share from my Viking ancestors, who did their share of raping and pillaging all over said countries. Anyway, the Celtic music world is much like my denomination: small and interwoven to the point of near incestuousness. The musicians ALL know each other. Once you know one band, you sort of fall into knowing them all. It's fun. And it makes me wonder if I should be making a shift from alternative to Celtic music...
...but for now, I'm sticking with my band. Which, by the way, is playing at the Union Inn in Schenectady this Friday from 7-10pm. They're having a big tent party thingamabob. In case anyone is interested.
Last night I went home at 10:00pm, fell into bed, was asleep by 10:30, and slept like the dead until 9:00am. I am not a big sleeper; I usually feel quite happy with 5-6 hours most nights and then one morning a week when I can just sleep in and get a full 8 hours. It is extremely rare for me to go to bed before midnight, and then I'm usually reading my insomnia into submission for an hour or two. The fact that I slept more than ten hours last night makes me a little concerned, because the only time I sleep like that is when I'm getting sick. But I feel pretty good today, so maybe I just needed the rest.
I am researching potential mission trip locations for the youth group. I would really like to go on one of these pre-planned trips on which I would just have to make sure we all get there, and then could step back and let someone else organize and lead the details. However, I seem to be having some difficulty finding such trips that are not run by people on the opposite end of the theological spectrum from myself and my church. We wish to go somewhere and serve some people in the name of Christ. We do not wish to do door-to-door evangelism. Personally, I do not wish to subject my youth group to fundagelical craziness, not least because I have no desire to spend the next several months answering questions like, "What is this rapture business they kept talking about?" Where are the mission trips for progressive churches? I suspect I am going to have to do all the organizing myself. Which is fine, but a tidge daunting.
It seems that I have fallen into an entire world of Celtic music. A year ago, I had never been to a Celtic festival or heard more than a snippet of any sort of Celtic rock music. However, an absurd amount of my free time in the last year been eaten by concerts, festivals, and trips to Scotland and Ireland. I'm certainly not complaining. I've been having a blast. But it's a little weird. The closest thing to Scottish or Irish blood I have is whatever we share from my Viking ancestors, who did their share of raping and pillaging all over said countries. Anyway, the Celtic music world is much like my denomination: small and interwoven to the point of near incestuousness. The musicians ALL know each other. Once you know one band, you sort of fall into knowing them all. It's fun. And it makes me wonder if I should be making a shift from alternative to Celtic music...
...but for now, I'm sticking with my band. Which, by the way, is playing at the Union Inn in Schenectady this Friday from 7-10pm. They're having a big tent party thingamabob. In case anyone is interested.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Because I am in a bit of a cranky mood...
...and feel the need to vent about things that aren't actually the cause of my crankiness...
A Few Random Things I Really Dislike:
- Mayonnaise. I don't even want to look at this disgusting substance, let alone discover that it has entered my mouth, courtesy of my otherwise delicious turkey club.
- Handbags with their designers' logos splashed all over them. Yes, Louis Vuitton and your 800 copycats, I mean you. I want my handbags to say "Beautiful and Classy!" through their style and construction, not by the fashion equivalent of Cate Blanchett running the streets screaming "Don't you see how famous and important I am????" Which of course she would never do, because she actually is beautiful and classy.
- Signs plastered everywhere demanding, "Clean Up After Your Pet," and no garbage cans within a 10 mile radius. I'm happy to scoop the poop, but I'd just as soon not haul it around with me for the next hour.
- My own forgetfulness.
- People getting defensive for no reason, taking credit for my work, driving like idiots, and not returning urgent emails.
Okay, those last two do actually contribute to my crankiness.
***Later additions to the list (i.e., my day isn't getting better, and I need to vent more before I go out and face people I might distress with my irritated demeanor)***
- Long, poorly-run, boring meetings.
- Sarah Palin.
A Few Random Things I Really Dislike:
- Mayonnaise. I don't even want to look at this disgusting substance, let alone discover that it has entered my mouth, courtesy of my otherwise delicious turkey club.
- Handbags with their designers' logos splashed all over them. Yes, Louis Vuitton and your 800 copycats, I mean you. I want my handbags to say "Beautiful and Classy!" through their style and construction, not by the fashion equivalent of Cate Blanchett running the streets screaming "Don't you see how famous and important I am????" Which of course she would never do, because she actually is beautiful and classy.
- Signs plastered everywhere demanding, "Clean Up After Your Pet," and no garbage cans within a 10 mile radius. I'm happy to scoop the poop, but I'd just as soon not haul it around with me for the next hour.
- My own forgetfulness.
- People getting defensive for no reason, taking credit for my work, driving like idiots, and not returning urgent emails.
Okay, those last two do actually contribute to my crankiness.
***Later additions to the list (i.e., my day isn't getting better, and I need to vent more before I go out and face people I might distress with my irritated demeanor)***
- Long, poorly-run, boring meetings.
- Sarah Palin.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
A Cleaning Interlude
Rarely do I get excited about anything related to cleaning, but yesterday I bought this:
And I know that it's probably not all that exciting to anyone else, but I steam cleaned my entry hallway today. Buh-bye, signs of canine separation anxiety!
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Keeping Up
There is only time for so much.
Let's back up. Birthdays are a good time to take stock. What have I done? What am I doing? What do I need to do? What would I like to do? What needs to be cut back? What needs to be eliminated? I've been asking myself these questions, although not in any organized sort of way.
I'm re-prioritizing at work. Some of the things I originally set out to do are not proving to be as worthwhile as I once thought. They're fine things, but they're not the most necessary or effective things. After a summer of basically just trying to keep my head above water, well, things are not calming down around here, but I need to take a day or two to focus on the big picture rather than plowing through my daily tasks. Somewhere this week I heard the phrase "our capacity for myopia." I feel myopic at the moment. As someone who has worn contacts for nineteen years, I understand my need for corrective lenses; without my contacts, I can only see clearly about six feet in front of me. This summer I've lapsed into only being able to see the day immediately before me. My life lenses are in need of some tweaking.
The rest of my life is similarly feeling a bit haphazard these days. I like to be In Control. Failing that, I at least like to be reasonably mindful of how what I do on a daily basis affects the trajectory of what I'm doing in a longer-term sense. The willy-nilly-ness of my life has been fun, but not so much productive. Adjustment time.
So, I spent today catching up with some things that have been neglected. Planning and publicity for things at church - because it has seemed like these events were SO far away, but now they are rushing toward me at roughly the speed of an SR-71 Blackbird jet. Personal emails and friends' blogs - because people who are not standing in front of me at a given moment somehow seem like they can always be put off for another day. Looking seriously at my calendar for vacation time - because I am never going to be less busy, and I need to get the rest of my vacation on the calendar before the entire year is sucked into oblivion.
But it occurs to me as I catch up that there is simply not time for everything. I can't do everything that I'd like to do or even everything I think needs to be done at work. I can't spend all the time I'd like with my friends live and in person here and also keep up with every movement of my friends and family who are scattered all over the world. I can't be present for every single thing at church and take two more weeks of vacation which I sorely need. Decisions must be made. Including the one to get off of my blog now and go to the consistory meeting.
Let's back up. Birthdays are a good time to take stock. What have I done? What am I doing? What do I need to do? What would I like to do? What needs to be cut back? What needs to be eliminated? I've been asking myself these questions, although not in any organized sort of way.
I'm re-prioritizing at work. Some of the things I originally set out to do are not proving to be as worthwhile as I once thought. They're fine things, but they're not the most necessary or effective things. After a summer of basically just trying to keep my head above water, well, things are not calming down around here, but I need to take a day or two to focus on the big picture rather than plowing through my daily tasks. Somewhere this week I heard the phrase "our capacity for myopia." I feel myopic at the moment. As someone who has worn contacts for nineteen years, I understand my need for corrective lenses; without my contacts, I can only see clearly about six feet in front of me. This summer I've lapsed into only being able to see the day immediately before me. My life lenses are in need of some tweaking.
The rest of my life is similarly feeling a bit haphazard these days. I like to be In Control. Failing that, I at least like to be reasonably mindful of how what I do on a daily basis affects the trajectory of what I'm doing in a longer-term sense. The willy-nilly-ness of my life has been fun, but not so much productive. Adjustment time.
So, I spent today catching up with some things that have been neglected. Planning and publicity for things at church - because it has seemed like these events were SO far away, but now they are rushing toward me at roughly the speed of an SR-71 Blackbird jet. Personal emails and friends' blogs - because people who are not standing in front of me at a given moment somehow seem like they can always be put off for another day. Looking seriously at my calendar for vacation time - because I am never going to be less busy, and I need to get the rest of my vacation on the calendar before the entire year is sucked into oblivion.
But it occurs to me as I catch up that there is simply not time for everything. I can't do everything that I'd like to do or even everything I think needs to be done at work. I can't spend all the time I'd like with my friends live and in person here and also keep up with every movement of my friends and family who are scattered all over the world. I can't be present for every single thing at church and take two more weeks of vacation which I sorely need. Decisions must be made. Including the one to get off of my blog now and go to the consistory meeting.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
31
It's my birthday.
I'm 31.
Thirty was the best year yet, so I have no reason to believe this year will be otherwise, although I am not booking a flight to another country tonight. Yet.
I don't feel old enough to be thirty-something. But I know those lines between my nose and the corners of my mouth mean I've laughed a LOT.
Perhaps you know you're thirty-something when the most exciting part of your birthday is that you get to sleep without setting an alarm. Most people probably have to work on their birthdays, but that's what I'm doing for mine. It's been a stressful few weeks. I need a few days off, and this seems as good a time as any to take them.
I'm also going to drive a go-cart, and go out for a fancy dinner. It was pointed out to me tonight that these activities might require a wardrobe shift, but I'm going to drive the go-cart in my fancy dinner dress, because that sounds like more fun and less hassle.
I was out when I turned 31, and people kept asking me how I felt. I thought that question was over last year, when I turned the big 3-0, but I guess I was busy last year, getting a tattoo and playing a gig, so they ask me now that I am 31. How do I feel? I feel old, and young, and tired, and ready to stay out all night. I feel glad to be alone in my house at the end of a very good night, and sad that there isn't anyone else here to share it with me. I feel glad that my life is what it is, and annoyed at my dog who won't stop barking. I don't know. I guess I feel thirty-one.
I'm 31.
Thirty was the best year yet, so I have no reason to believe this year will be otherwise, although I am not booking a flight to another country tonight. Yet.
I don't feel old enough to be thirty-something. But I know those lines between my nose and the corners of my mouth mean I've laughed a LOT.
Perhaps you know you're thirty-something when the most exciting part of your birthday is that you get to sleep without setting an alarm. Most people probably have to work on their birthdays, but that's what I'm doing for mine. It's been a stressful few weeks. I need a few days off, and this seems as good a time as any to take them.
I'm also going to drive a go-cart, and go out for a fancy dinner. It was pointed out to me tonight that these activities might require a wardrobe shift, but I'm going to drive the go-cart in my fancy dinner dress, because that sounds like more fun and less hassle.
I was out when I turned 31, and people kept asking me how I felt. I thought that question was over last year, when I turned the big 3-0, but I guess I was busy last year, getting a tattoo and playing a gig, so they ask me now that I am 31. How do I feel? I feel old, and young, and tired, and ready to stay out all night. I feel glad to be alone in my house at the end of a very good night, and sad that there isn't anyone else here to share it with me. I feel glad that my life is what it is, and annoyed at my dog who won't stop barking. I don't know. I guess I feel thirty-one.
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