Friday, July 17, 2009
It is really hard to be a kind, loving person when you feel unloved. This is my learning for the week, as I struggle against my inclination to draw inward and pull a tortoise maneuver against a general sense of being the opposite of loved, cared for, valued, etc. - all those words that describe how most of us would like to feel. I am in this place that I love and where I have always felt loved, but I'm not feeling it this year. Whatever. This too shall pass and all that. In the meantime, I'm realizing that this is true for other people, too: it's just hard to be nice when you feel wretched. So maybe the fact that they're not treating me as I'd like to be treated does not actually reflect any particular feeling toward me, but rather their own feelings of unlovedness (or whatever). Which doesn't make me feel any better about my own stuff, but does keep me aware that being equally mean or negligent isn't going to help them, or me either.
Posted by Stacey at 1:51 PM