Breeding Dysfunction

In one of the strange little corners of my life, I have a group of some mixture of acquaintances and friends, some of the acquaintances being a few women who insist on acting like we are all still in junior high. The malicious gossip (yes, I think there is good gossip), back-biting, and "you sat at the lunch table with the boy I like so I'll hate you forever" behavior gets to be a bit much. I've been dealing with this for a couple of years now, and tolerating it because, if I want to spend time around my friends and hear one of my favorite bands, I also have to put up with the fact that these people are present. Such is life. I generally just try not to be sucked down into the prepubescent vortex (and believe me, it would be way too easy to be drawn into the drama and scream or throw cake at them or something). Since a fair deal of the negative talk and behavior is directed toward me, there's not a whole heck of a lot I can do to change the situation.

What really irks me is that the irrational, juvenile behavior has been tolerated and even encouraged by the people in this group who are sane, mature adults. They don't want to be mean, they don't want to step on their friends' toes, and so they quietly stand by while said friends act in absolutely horrific and ridiculous ways that are deeply hurtful to others.

Personally, I don't get it.

But I've been thinking about this in relation to other areas of my life as well - the prime example being the church (not my church in particular, just "the church" in general). People are pretty routinely allowed to verbally abuse, slander, manipulate, and blame their pastors and each other. Rarely is anyone confronted with so much as a request that they behave in a decent and courteous way. I don't think I've ever heard a sermon or teaching about taking responsibility for our own behavior (hmm...ideas for the future). We let bad behavior slide, thinking we are being loving and accepting. But who is being left in the wake?