We've decided to do this staff bonding thing at church where we do activities together once a month, and this month it was ice skating. I think of myself as a fairly good skater. I've been doing it all my life. In my family, when you can walk, you learn to skate. I used to coach my brother's hockey team. However...
I am now TERRIBLE.
This is not an understatement. I felt like I had never been skating before in my life. And I could blame it on a number of factors - it's been at least a couple of years, I was in rented figure skates rather than my own hockey skates, they weren't sharpened, blah blah blah - but the fact is, I can't skate very well. I am stiff and jerky and awkward. I got better with time, I loosened up, but this is not second nature anymore. Suddenly, I am afraid of falling.
So afraid that it makes me stiff and jerky and awkward...which in turn makes it more likely that I will fall, because seriously - it's a little difficult to be fluid and graceful when your knees are locked and your toes are curled up inside your skates in panic about catching a toe pick and doing a header onto the ice.
I wonder when this happened, when I began to fear falling, getting hurt, failing. I wonder why that seems to be about much more than skating.