On running and such

For about a month now I have been getting back into running regularly. I do somewhere between 2.5-4 miles a day (some of that is running, some is walking, some is jogging in place as my dog smells things, does her business, and rolls in people's yards), five days a week. Some days I can run a 5k with hardly a thought, other days I get to a mile and a half and want to die. It's an interesting process. At the moment my goal is to become someone who can just decide, "Hey, there's a 5k this weekend, I think I'll run it," and not have to worry about whether I'll be the panting idiot who is walking halfway through.

I miss the days when I could just go out and run six miles without a strain. I do not, however, miss how obsessive I was during that period of my life, in which I ran like a crazy person and basically ate lettuce and grilled chicken. But I had started to see the numbers on the scale go down, and for the first time in my life, I actually cared. All that work got me down to a size and weight that still would have made most of the women I know scream in fright and call Jenny Craig, but what do you do? I didn't even care much about my appearance; it was being able to see progress in numbers that got me.

And then I stopped being a compulsive runner, and returned to eating things other than lettuce and chicken, and the pendulum swung back the other way, and I gained too much weight again, blah blah blah. Which brings us to now.

Running makes my body regulate itself better. When I'm running, I have a better relationship with food (except that lettuce and chicken blip), because my body tends to say, "HEY! I can't do what you're asking me to do if you keep feeding me fries and pizza. Eat a vegetable already." I drink less because it makes me sluggish. I sleep better. I have more energy and deal better with stress. It's a good thing all around.

But here's something frustrating: I've been doing this for a month now. I've cut my calorie intake almost in half. And I have lost exactly ONE POUND.

I wish I could be okay with just being calmer, happier, and healthier. But I want to see a measurable result. I want to see some numbers dropping. If whoever is in charge of that could get on it, that'd be fab.